The Single Mother Musician

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The Demands of Balancing Multiple Roles

It’s hard enough being a woman in the music industry. Competing against a world of testosterone can bring about an array of challenges, from competitiveness to walking upon predacious and sexual terrain but what about the single and struggling mother musician? This article refers to the financial and practical difficulties of a struggling mother who is striving to achieve her goals in music. The element of support is vital both financially and practically, particularly when dependents are involved but how are chances of success impacted when a parent lacks support? We all know that money isn’t everything but one thing we do know is money brings in options and pays for support.

A lone mother is the primary and sole caregiver for her child. The weight of having children fully rests on the mother thus creating huge demands physically, emotionally and financially.

A single mother musician has not only her children to think about but her home life too. She balances her life around her children and has the hardship of financial struggles to meet the demands of basic everyday living. Speaking to many female singers who are single parents, I have felt their challenges to the point that they are on the verge of giving up.

The work and commitment of a mother musician must be highlighted with great respect as she balances the tasks and demands from all angles. The pressure of performance is tough in its own right but a mother will carry her children’s emotions too. Whilst on the quest for her dreams, she can at times feel the emotional torment of not fully meeting either role to her full potential and she can feel she is spreading herself too thin. A great performer will give her all to the audience. She brings pleasure to the receiver, even when exhausted from her home life. In her home life, and like most mothers, she takes the role of cleaner, nurse, cook and teacher and generally has the everyday hurdles of meeting and regulating the emotional and practical needs of her children. This can impact creativity, motivation and mental health.

Playing multiple roles in life is something most working parents can relate to. The added role of being a musician involves nighttime performances, paying babysitters, and giving away half the income she makes for lack of support. It also involves switching on a persona which can be exhausting. It involves carrying her children’s emotions and their well-being. The single mother musician is burning the candles at both ends.

The single mother musician is a supermom. She deserves to be kind to herself and to be applauded as a mother, and not just an entertainer. 

Trying to play the dual role of mom at home and glitzy musician at night can be exhausting emotionally for both herself and her children. Children do not understand why mummy has to go out and would rather mom stay at home and play. The effects on the children are something else that needs investigating as absent parents can lead to emotional consequences.

On the positive side, the mother entertainer may see her entertaining role as an opportunity for getting back to herself. As parents, we can lose our sense of identity in the role of mom or dad and sometimes getting back to who you were before is what’s needed. Generally speaking, mothers in disadvantaged positions are likely to struggle. Enthusiasm, motivation and a positive mindset are needed to sustain a career in the music industry.

What are your views on this? Are you a mom musician in this position? Do you have any stories to share? We’d love to hear from you and remember..appreciate who you are. Be kind to yourself!

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